One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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