I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
