she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My life is pants optional.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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