My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
