drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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