Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
