Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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