That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
