walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
