Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
