I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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