I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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