We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's blow job season.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
