Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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