Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
