I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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