DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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