I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
