is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Someone shit on the floor
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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