so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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