When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
