How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
