if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
