Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
