did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
