Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
