i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
