road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
