You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
