Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
