you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
