Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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