I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
