There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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