Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
