so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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