Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
