i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
