I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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