She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
