you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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