Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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