Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
