so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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