As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
