the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
