Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
