So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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