If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ttyl tear gas
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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