Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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