Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
